The Cost Of Denial

We are all born with certain gifts.  We all have inner potential for greatness.  All to often, however, we hide or deny who we were really meant to be.  This denial actually strangles and slows the flow of energy from the universe. This denial can lead to depression, anxiety, anger, addiction, and hopelessness.  Guess what?  I have dealt with all of the above.  It's easy to forget the inter-connectedness of all things. The choices we make have far reaching consequences. 

We learn early on not to cry, to smile on cue, and to deny our feelings.  Denial of feelings is much like denial of your natural born gifts or talents;  it's going to have an effect on some part of your life.  Ask any artist you know.  They can tell you how they feel when they've gone too long without creating something.  That energy quickly turns into frustration.  Frustration turns to anger or depression.  And sometimes, those emotions lead people to soothe with food, drugs, alcohol, or any number of things.

I had long ago turned off my psychic ears and eyes.  Things still happened, but I just didn't acknowledge them unless I had no other choice.  I had a child spirit who started coming to me during the night, so I found drinking just before bed seemed to turn him off.   I was already drinking a lot after work to "decompress".  As a professional makeup artist, I touched a lot of people during the day.  It's very intimate work, and if you're sensitive, you can easily end up walking away with some of that person's energy.  Multiply that times 10, and you've got an idea of what I was processing in any given day.  I was burned out.  I had once been a people person, and now I found myself keeping a distance.  What was going on with me?  Why was I being so irrational towards human contact?  The guilt I felt with being so distant, coupled with my brain nearly short circuiting every day, led me to near destruction.  Faced with the inevitable outcome if I continued down this path, I realized something had to change.  Obviously, I had to stop drinking.  Secondly, I realized I needed to accept and embrace my gift if I ever wanted a chance to manage how it impacted my life.  And lastly, I decided to start this blog to share some of my experiences as I made my way "back home". 
Life is too short to spend it with regret.  If you know you have certain talents, or at least you think you might, go out there and explore them!  Our inner voice has a way of nudging us.  We just don't often listen.  It's that feeling in your solar plexus you get when you see someone else doing something you've always wanted to do.  Oftentimes, however, it's followed by the other voice that says, "Are you crazy?  You can't do that.  Everyone will laugh and you.  Besides, you'll never be any good at it."  Don't listen to that voice.  If you've always wished to be a dancer, get out there and take a dance class.  Your spirit will thank you, and you'll go on to try many other things you thought you'd never have the courage to attempt. 
You're on this planet to grow, and to help others grow as well.  If you deny who you are, you'll never have the chance to help someone else take that leap.  So go ahead, go after it.  You'll be amazed at how your life changes!